Social networks
On cultivating community
I’m writing to you from the loveliest AirBnB in Essex, CT, where I’ve been for the past couple of days on a DIY writing retreat with my friend Terri Trespicio. Terri and I met in 2014 on a Gateless Writing Retreat and have stayed friends ever since.
When I was young and just getting started, the word “networking” struck fear in me. Networking meant business lunches and cocktail parties where you gave out and collected business cards. It meant informational interviews and cold calling people on the phone. It meant attending—shiver—“networking workshops.” But when I set out to promote My Last Innocent Year, I realized that I had actually created a robust network of friends and writers without being explicitly intentional about it.
What I know now that I didn’t know then is that networking is just meeting and talking to people you like. It’s a community you build over time filled with people you enjoy spending time with because you are interested in the same things.
Terri is part of my network, but she is also a friend. She is also the perfect person to be on retreat with because we can both be quiet for long periods of time without thinking the other person is mad at us. As I write this, Terri and I have been sitting in the same room together for hours not talking; the only sound is the pitter patter of our fingers across our respective keyboards. Later, we will eat lunch and head out for a walk, but we respect each other’s needs for quiet. She appears to be just as happy doing nothing as I am.
Speaking of Terri, registration is open for her 3rd Annual Summer Camp! This year’s theme is “The time you broke the rules,” and if you know Terri even a little or have read her fantastic book Unfollow Your Passion, you know that rules are not her thing (but she’s not a sociopathic rebel! she’s a good girl). For one low price, you will get access to 15 hours of fantastic Terri-curated content, including lots of time on the page. I will be leading a session with Terri on July 20 at 10AM ET and the schedule is jam packed. See the link for details, and trust me: Summer Camp will leave you feeling inspired and invigorated!
(P.S. Terri didn’t love summer camp, but I did! Then again, it was theater camp.)
I loved this conversation with Nina Badzin on her wonderful podcast Dear Nina: Conversations about Friendship. Nina and I talked about the friendships in MLIY, which got me thinking about my own college friendships and the role college friendships play in our development. Speaking of networking, Nina and I met about ten years ago when we were both writing for Brain, Child Magazine. So many of my writing connections came out of my years writing for Brain, Child, and it’s been so wonderful to see what everyone is doing now that we have mostly moved on from writing about our kids as our primary subject. I love the community Nina has created around the challenges and rewards of adult friendships, and you should definitely check out all of her great episodes.
UPCOMING EVENTS
I have several events scheduled for this summer and would love to see you!
July 10 at 6PM, I will be at Zibby’s Bookshop in Santa Monica with Rufi Thorpe. I’ve been talking about this event a lot because I am not from L.A. and am relying on you—my network—to help fill the place! Also, Rufi Thorpe is so brilliant and fascinating. I am looking forward to this conversation SO MUCH. RSVP and details here!
On July 12 at 5:30PM ET, I will be appearing at a Book Chat hosted by Hayvn, a co-working space in Darien, CT. The event will be both in-person and virtual so you can log in from anywhere. I will personally be logging in from Los Angeles, where I am spending the week. Sign up here and use the code HAYVNBOOK for free admission!
On July 19 at 12:30 PM you can find me at Bryant Park where I will be on a panel called “Fatal Attraction” with Avery Carpenter Forrey, Carola Lovering and Colleen McKeegan. We will be discussing the destructive power dynamics at the heart of our novels, which aren’t always necessarily fatal… but it makes for a good title!
July 23 at 1:00 PM ET, I will be part of Literary Modiin’s July Event. Literary Modiin is a series curated by Julie Zuckerman, a writer based in Israel who has brought together readers and writers of Jewish literary fiction, memoir and poetry since 2019. I am thrilled to be part of her July lineup, which includes the writers Maxim D. Shrayer and Haviva Ner-David. Find out more and register for the event here
And finally, on July 26 from 6-8PM, I will be appearing in person with Lisa Donovan, host of Billy & Lisa in the Morning on Kiss108FM. A couple of years ago, Lisa started a book club for her listeners and I am thrilled that she has chosen My Last Innocent Year as the July pick—with an assist from Lisa’s last guest author Elin Hildebrand (you can hear Elin recommend MLIY here!) If you will be in the Boston area this summer, I’d love to see you. Sign up here!
“Lisa’s Book Club was born out of a desire to bring our listeners together with a common interest in wanting to read more in a fun, social way. Lisa has included a local author component to each book club event, providing a platform to learn about their writing process and much more!”
Sign Up For An Evening With Daisy Alpert Florin!
Wednesday, July 26 | 6-8PM
Mystique Boston at Encore Boston Harbor | 1 Broadway, Everett, MA
That’s all for now! Happy summer!
Congrats. on all of your wonderful events coming up! Enjoy your writing retreat with Terri!
your retreat space and company sounds divine!