Authenticity and access

Or, how to be a 50-year-old woman on the internet

Welcome new subscribers! I’ve seen a bunch of you slide on in over the past couple of weeks, and I’m so happy you’re here.

Photo by Walter Brunner on Unsplash

By way of introduction: I’m Daisy. My debut novel My Last Innocent Year came out last February. Here’s what The New York Times said about it.

It comes out in paperback on February 13. You can preorder it from Barnes and Noble TODAY for 25% off using the code PREORDER25 (expires 1/26).

Here are some previous newsletters: this, this, this and this.

Also, my updated website.

Finally, if you’d like to write with me, I lead weekly salons every Tuesday at 9AM ET.

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**Content warning** I am about to talk about the Republican primary!

Nikki Haley lost the New Hampshire primary on Tuesday making Trump the presumptive Republican nominee. No surprise there, but what interested me in the discourse is why she failed. I mean, there are a million reasons but here was the one that interested me:

Speaking on The Daily this week, Jonathan Weisman, a political correspondent for The Times, talked about John McCain’s surprise upset in New Hampshire back in 2000 (he went on to lose the nomination to George W. Bush). According to Weisman, the reason voters connected with McCain was because he offered “authenticity and access,” something Haley didn’t. McCain would show up at a Town Hall and stay until every question had been answered. In an article for The Times, Weisman wrote that at McCain’s first Town Hall in May 1999, only 13 people showed up. But he stuck it out: “He took questions in church basements, diners and community centers until the assembled voters ran out of questions to ask.” In the end, McCain won New Hampshire 49 percent to 30 percent.

I love this story because it reminds me that we have to show up and connect with our voters/supporters/readers no matter how many we have. You can bellyache about only having xxx number of followers or yyy number of readers, or you can be thankful that those people are showing up for you at all—and the only way you get more is by showing up for the ones you have. And maybe you don’t need as many readers/followers as you think. As my dear friend and mentor Suzanne Kingsbury says, “Jesus only had twelve disciples!”

I was at a lunch last week with a group of writers and the conversation eventually rolled around to “Social Media: What Works and What Doesn’t.” Should we start Substacks? Post reels? Get on TikTok? What really makes a difference? (Spoiler alert: no one knew.)

But I think there’s a lesson to be learned from John McCain.

I doubt anyone had to tell John McCain to stick around at Town Hall meetings and connect with voters. He just did it. And if someone had told Nikki Haley to do the same thing, she might have but it likely would have registered to everyone there that she was doing something she didn’t want to do.

For authors, I think it comes down to the same thing: authenticity and access. I still think about this piece Courtney Maum wrote two years ago documenting the different ways writers show up online. Chloe Benjamin, for example, author of The Immortalists, posts a lot about knitting, which is not only charming and interesting but feels authentic. And if you’re a fan of Benjamin, you want to hear what she has to say about lots of things—especially the things she’s obsessed with. The point: when it comes to social media, do what feels right to you, and if you look like you’re being forced to do it, it’ll show.

And realize, in the end, you probably have very little control over any of it. Nina Badzin, who hosts the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, posted this week about how one of her TikToks went viral—and it wasn’t about friendship. It was about flowers! Who knows why? (No seriously, who knows why?) So for all our agita over what works or doesn’t work online, sometimes the algorithm has the last laugh.

Suffice it to say, I’m very glad you’re here.

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Oh, look! Another event!

On February 5, I will be appearing with the lovely and amazing Avery Carpenter Forrey, author of the novel Social Engagement, at Perrot Library in Old Greenwich, CT. More info here.

This from Avery:

“Daisy and I have talked about our debut novels a lot at this point (thank you for listening!), so this will be different from your standard Q&A. Expect a celebration of creativity, community, and all the books we've loved before. 

Bring one book rec (not the physical book, just have the title in your head) and an open mind.* Dress code is pink or red or hot librarian.**”

I repeat: Dress code is pink or red or HOT LIBRARIAN.

But seriously, we are going to have so much fun connecting people through the books they love. Avery and I love talking books—and talking to each other—so think of it as a sort of Tinder for books. You’ll leave with a whole list of books to swipe right on.

There will also be snacks!

snacks may or may not include this “moody cheese board”